if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
