Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
well you can't waste a boner
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
