Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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