Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
