mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
