Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
