I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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