Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
