I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
