I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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