i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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