Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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