evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
