Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
