sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
