it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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