Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize