Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
