found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
