Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
