that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
