I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
This girl is more easily done than said...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
