I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
