Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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