I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
