I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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