I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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