May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
