those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
