i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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