he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
and you fell through a lawn chair
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
