If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize