Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
