ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
