There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
