hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize