OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
