Where did you get a picture of my penis
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
