im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
