No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
