a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
