i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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