Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
