i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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