I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize