have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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