That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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