woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
