i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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