Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize