me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
