He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
