Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
