no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
