I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
