Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
did i walk over a car last night?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
