he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't deserve a penis
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
