The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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