I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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