11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
